My dear “wifey”, who has made my life more meaningful in the last year than I could ever express, has taken to telling me certain quotes to lift my spirits the past few months. The most recent thing she’s told me seems to be a testament to how both of our lives are currently going.
“I’m tired of being the statue. For once, I’d like to be the pigeon.”
Our situations and current struggles are different but we connect in the fact that we just can’t seem to get above water no matter how hard we try. There seems to always be something that keeps pulling us back into the dark recesses of life.
I try my very best not to post all my woes, hence why my posts are growing fewer and further apart. However, I felt the need to not only acknowledge the wonderful woman that is there for me no matter what but also to just write again.
I miss writing and posting. I miss it terribly. I just refuse to post all my sorrows. I know that others have it worse and I try my best not to forget that but, it does happen. (More than I’ll willingly admit.)
That being said, with my computer on its last leg (which makes blogging all the more cumbersome), dealing with family stuff, and obviously my health issues, I’m pretty exhausted mentally and physically.
I’m trying to stay positive. I’ve accomplished a few things that needed to be done years ago but, I feel like I should be doing more to make my life better, as well as, my loved one’s lives. I try, I do. It just doesn’t seem like it’s never enough.
I wonder if others with dibilitating health conditions have the same struggles with self worth.
I wonder if I’ll ever be to a point when I can say “I’m happy. I’m happy with my life and who I am.”
I wonder if I’ll ever be the pigeon.
♪ Listening to OneRepublic – “Native” ♪