It’s All About the Benjamins

It’s been what seems like forever since I’ve shown myself to the online world and I sincerely apologize for that. Most of you know all too well how hard life can be. We usually find a way to persevere but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy process.

My downward spiral started when I realized the deadline I set for myself was quickly approaching and I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be. Long story short, I got it in my head that the only way to contribute to my family was by monetizing my blog. I can’t hold, or get for that matter, a 9 to 5. My efforts to get disability have left me banging my head against the wall. Online data entry type work is slow going at best. So that left my blog.

It seemed like a great and viable idea at the time but the more I tried to make it happen, the more I resisted (on a subconscious level). I spent weeks planning out my course of action but, never truly got anywhere. This, in turn, set the depression cycle in motion. After what seemed like forever, an email from a wonderful friend and a post from The Dude (in the same day, no less) brought about an epiphany.

In trying to attach money to my blog, I inadvertently stripped away the real reason I started it in the first place. I write to connect with others like me. To inspire those who suffer. And to help loved ones to understand. I write as an outlet hoping that there’s at least one other person out there that truly gets me.

Would money be nice for my writing? Sure. But by commingling the two, I lost my motivation to write. I was more concerned with what I thought would get me paid rather than what my heart really wanted to say.

No more.

I’ve realized that I’m going to write from my heart, like I promised myself, and you, so long ago. If, one day, that brings me revenue, great. If not, that’s fine too. I’m done with trying to make it happen. It ultimately isn’t worth it to me and my stability. This blog, and all the people I’ve met as a result, makes me happy. And I owe it to myself and my boys to be the happiest I can be with the cards I’ve been dealt. 

What really matters.

What really matters.

Ultimately, being happy is all that matters in this life.

To quote Benjamin Franklin, “Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.”

Listening to Matchbox Twenty

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Comments
2 Responses to “It’s All About the Benjamins”
  1. Shay, I can’t believe it’s taken me 10 days to write you after reading this post! I am so sorry. I have been thinking about you daily but I didn’t turn that into action and write and tell you first how much I like the post. And then, of course, how happy I was that you had seemed to come out the other side of the terrible funk you were in. It’s interesting that it’s about money and I’ve been having all these thoughts about what money can do for a person. And what it absolutely cannot do. It’s important to provide the essentials for living, but beyond that it won’t be what we’re crying about at the end of our lives about not having enough of. I think all of us want more time. More love. More daily happiness. Satisfaction with our relationships. I love the picture of you and your boys and the caption – What really matters. That says it all for you. For others it can be different, but usually there will be some family member (or more), a close friend, a beloved neighbor, and more versions of that in the picture. Bless you, Shay. I’ll be writing more in an email tomorrow (Thursday). You take care. Much love to you.
    Dana

    • First of all, no worries on the delay. I, of all people, know how it can be.
      It is a little creepy how we always seem to be on the same wave length. It’s a good kind of creepy tho. 😉
      At this point, my boys are my constant. They never will give up on me when the road gets bumpy. I, unfortunately, can’t say that about everyone in my life but, more on that later in an upcoming post.
      I look forward to hearing from you. 😀
      TTFN
      ~Shay

Scarecrow can't do ALL the thinking...

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