It’s All About the Benjamins
It’s been what seems like forever since I’ve shown myself to the online world and I sincerely apologize for that. Most of you know all too well how hard life can be. We usually find a way to persevere but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy process.
My downward spiral started when I realized the deadline I set for myself was quickly approaching and I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be. Long story short, I got it in my head that the only way to contribute to my family was by monetizing my blog. I can’t hold, or get for that matter, a 9 to 5. My efforts to get disability have left me banging my head against the wall. Online data entry type work is slow going at best. So that left my blog.
It seemed like a great and viable idea at the time but the more I tried to make it happen, the more I resisted (on a subconscious level). I spent weeks planning out my course of action but, never truly got anywhere. This, in turn, set the depression cycle in motion. After what seemed like forever, an email from a wonderful friend and a post from The Dude (in the same day, no less) brought about an epiphany.
In trying to attach money to my blog, I inadvertently stripped away the real reason I started it in the first place. I write to connect with others like me. To inspire those who suffer. And to help loved ones to understand. I write as an outlet hoping that there’s at least one other person out there that truly gets me.
Would money be nice for my writing? Sure. But by commingling the two, I lost my motivation to write. I was more concerned with what I thought would get me paid rather than what my heart really wanted to say.
I’ve realized that I’m going to write from my heart, like I promised myself, and you, so long ago. If, one day, that brings me revenue, great. If not, that’s fine too. I’m done with trying to make it happen. It ultimately isn’t worth it to me and my stability. This blog, and all the people I’ve met as a result, makes me happy. And I owe it to myself and my boys to be the happiest I can be with the cards I’ve been dealt.
Ultimately, being happy is all that matters in this life.
To quote Benjamin Franklin, “Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.”
♪ Listening to Matchbox Twenty ♪