From the Mouths of Babes
Why don’t you do anything with me anymore? When I was little you helped me learn my numbers and letters and we’d play with my toys. Now all you do is lay in bed or on the sofa watching your videos. You always tell me that you don’t feel good or that your tummy hurts. I’m sorry that it does but I wish that it didn’t. I like doing things and you never want to. That’s why I always want to spend time with Daddy instead of you. Daddy plays video games with me and we go out and do fun stuff. I don’t like it when you come with us because you always have to go to the bathroom and then Daddy and I have to wait for you. I don’t like waiting. I could be doing so many other things that are more fun. I liked it better before you got really sick, like back before I was in head start. You were fun then. I miss that Mommy. I wish you were like that again. I mean I like that you help me with my homework and I really like it when you cook supper for us. And I love it when you take me to the playground but, that doesn’t happen all that much. I wish you would do all the fun stuff with me like Daddy does.
-From your Lil Pal
He doesn’t understand. He’s only 7. Given that I’m 6 ½ years older I do understand, sort of. I know enough about what you have to deal with to know it’s tough on you. I don’t understand a lot of the medical stuff but I get it. I admit I do get disappointed when you don’t have the energy to do stuff with me like you used to. Remember when I used to play soccer? That was fun. I liked kicking the ball around with you and running around on the field. That was a long time ago though. At this point, I’m happy just to spend any time with you even if it’s just talking. I really like how I can talk to you about anything. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t vent to you when I’m upset about something. It means a lot that you just let me be me. So even though you can’t do all the things you use to I still love you. You are always there for me when I need you. And I know that my brother loves you too. Just give him time, Mom. One day he’ll understand. I love you Mom.
-From your Punkin
I appreciate your honesty. I wish things were like they used to be too. I’d give just about anything for that. However, the brutal reality is that things will never be like they used to be. My health isn’t going to get better, I’m afraid. I have 4 major health issues that I have to contend with on a daily basis. I know that y’all are too young to really understand what I have to go through and the severity of it all. One day I’m sure that you will but for now all I can say is that I’m sincerely sorry.
I cherish all the fun times that we used to have together. I have so many great memories from before. Unfortunately, I know that those great times are growing more and more infrequent. It honestly brings me to tears to think about all the wonderful moments that we are going to miss because I won’t feel up to it.
I love you boys more than words and I want nothing but happiness for you both. I am sorry that y’all feel the way that you do but, I do understand. I want you to know that it’s ok to feel that way. I always want y’all to be honest with me about everything, even your feelings towards me. Just know that even though I may not always feel well, I am always here for y’all and my love is more profound than you’ll ever realize.
~From the depths of my heart, your Mom
♪ Listening to OneRepublic ♪