It’s Been That Kind of Day
Since getting back on track, I’ve tried to stay positive with my posts. Today, has been a bad day. Not a “kind of” bad day but a stayed in bed, should of gotten the information from the driver of the bus that hit me, going to sleep the day away kind of bad day. An everything hurts, nothing’s going right, can’t think clearly, want to cry kind of bad day. It’s been a while since I’ve had a day this bad. As much as I didn’t want to write this post, I can’t think about anything else. It’s been that bad. So I figured I would write and at least one of a few things may happen. I’ll start feeling better by getting it all out. I’ll let someone out there know that they’re not alone in feeling so down. Or maybe this will all be a waste of time and just take up space on WordPress… but at least I’ll have done something productive today, I guess.
I can’t explain the amount of pain I’ve been in today. I managed through the morning routine but as soon as the family was gone, back to bed I went. I spent the entire day hidden under the blankets, getting up only to do the usual necessities and start the dishwasher. At 3 pm, I had no choice but to suck it up. Kids are perceptive but they don’t fully understand why mommy feels so bad. I think “sucking it up” only exasperated the problem. By that point, I was so gloomy that faking it just made me feel worse. Nevertheless, homework and eventually dinner was taken care of but I was fighting back tears the entire time. I’m not even sure why I wanted to cry. It wasn’t because of the pain even though I was close to that point. I don’t know why I felt so down but I hate it. None of my usual tricks has worked today to brighten my spirits. I watched a marathon of a comedy TV show but that only worked until I stopped watching. Music hasn’t even helped today, which bums me even more.
I feel rather worthless today. I got some of my chores done which usually gives me some sense of accomplishment but, not today. My family’s needs were taken care of as well and still nothing on my end. I’m honestly out of ideas other than hoping that writing this will do something, anything.
I guess we all have bad days. I am really hoping that tomorrow brings me some kind of something to raise me up out of this hole my mind is settling into. I hope.
**Listening to Slipknot**