Update: 3 days Til Christmas
It is officially December 22, 2012 and we’re all still here. There are no impending dangers last I checked. Humanity is continuing just as they have been, for better or worse. Moreover, I am still too far from home.
Christmas is only 3 days away and I am no closer to my husband and 6-year-old son than I was at my last post. It’s no one’s fault. The timing just isn’t working out. I know that somehow, someway I’ll make it back home. It just scares me that maybe too much time will have passed by then. That my husband and son will have settled into life without me and I just won’t fit anymore. A piece of me thinks that those fears are ridiculous and that life will fall back into place as quickly as it fell apart. I still feel trepidation nevertheless.
My husband has always been my strength. He doesn’t truly know how much I rely on him for it. Unfortunately, he has been so busy that he hasn’t noticed how much I need him right now. How much I need to hear him say that he misses me and needs me just as much as I need him. It’s painful and hard to go through my everyday not being home. Again, I know none of this is his fault but it doesn’t make things any easier for me. All of this just adds to my fears and concerns of how life is going to be.
As I type this, it almost feels like I’m going on yet another “woe is me” rant. I suppose it could be construed as such but, since I have trouble talking to him about my feelings (knowing how much he has on his plate right now, I refuse to bother him) and I have no one else to talk to, this is my only outlet. Therefore, I apologize to anyone who reads this and ask for any encouraging words you may have to offer.