Due to unforeseen circumstances, I haven’t been able to post in a while. I won’t go into details because they’re not important but I feel like there are a few things that I need to get off my chest.
First, my last post became more controversial, both personally and on here, than I had intended. I want to make things very clear that those were my feelings at that time. I had in no way made up my mind that things were going to be that way. I just wanted to voice my thoughts and open a discussion that was long overdue.
Second, incidentally my last post has unfortunately become reality. Even though my husband and I did discuss my feelings on things and worked it out, my health issues and financial matters have prevented me from going home. All this time that has passed made me realize that I’m not strong enough to actively choose not to be with my family. I miss them terribly and even though we talk on a daily basis in some capacity, it’s not enough. I have said before that I don’t know how much time I have left and I hate the thought of not being with them, both through the good and bad times. It’s no one’s fault. It’s just how life is. It throws you curve balls and it’s up to you how you handle the situation. I’ve not made the best choices and I sometimes think I deserve all that crap that is thrown at me however, I know deep down that I will be back with my family eventually and life won’t be perfect but at least we’ll be together.
To my husband, I love you dearly and can’t thank you enough for your patience, strength and sacrifices you’ve made for our family and me.