Life… One Day at a Time
Call it good or bad, but I had to learn a long time ago, to take one day at a time. I try to make the best of each day but there are plenty of days that I physically can’t do much of anything. Those days are rather depressing. You lie in bed, getting up only when necessary and try to fixate or ANYTHING other than the misery you’re really in.
I, unfortunately, have been caught up in my own vicious cycle of “I feel horrible and can’t do anything”. Sometimes it is hard to get back on track. Depression begets more depression. It’s that plain and simple!
Given all my health issues started right before my “formative years”, I had a hard time with self worth growing up. I suppose I still do to some extent. Add a mind that likes to run rampant and you have a lethal cocktail in the making. Over time, I’ve found little tricks to snap me back into reality.
Obviously, music is the biggest part of my arsenal but there’s other little things as well. I often will just sit outside on the porch (ear buds in of course) and just look out into the world. I’ll breathe the fresh air, stare at the clouds and eventually I’ll slip into serenity. It sounds simple but it really works. It almost takes me back to childhood when I would lay on my back in the grass making shapes out of the passing clouds. (I secretly long for simpler, less complicated times when I wasn’t sick. But I’m sure a lot of you do.)
That’s just one of many things I can do that require little energy but will make me feel better given time and a little effort.
I write this just as much as a reminder to myself, as continuing telling my story to the world. I had a solid week of no ‘bad’ days but that came to an abrupt stop night before last. Therefore, in writing this out, it forces me to be honest with myself and admit that I may not be perfect but I do have a purpose in this life…
Still working on what that purpose may be but, I know that I haven’t suffered and survived all that I have to not have one!
**Listening to 30 Seconds to Mars**